Mark Thomas

THE IMPORTANCE OF BENG EARNEST

Nigels been promoted again
next in line to the boss
Clarissa got straight "A"s of course, we expected that.
I bought some strappy sandals from that exclusive shop
to match my new Gucci handbag I got in Marbella last year
Nigel says we have to cut back
so its the Algarve again for the summer hols
I'm speaking to you on my new Blackberry,
it does loads of stuff apparently.
Rebecca is pregnant again but Harvey doesn't know yet
Had to change my hair tint again to a lighter shade
and thats about all......

No, wait , the weird guy that lived on his own two houses up from
me, you know the daftie who cut my lawn once ,and did some odd jobs
for a couple of quid, remember him ? wasnt right in the head, mumbled and
walked funny,
his name was Earnie , or bennie or something , anyway
they found him dead in his bed. He wasn't very old ,
of course his sort don't usually live long
do they?
Anyway he was buried apparently last week.
They'll probably house another one soon.
Did I go this funeral ?
No ....
I didn't know him
well.

* * *

THE DECIMAL POINT

Wake up at 6.22
shave at 15 degrees angle
put on my shoes ( I have two )
today they are two tone sandals

catch the 8.14 to the village store
spend two pounds sixty eight
watch three golfers shouting fore
over a five bar gate

Past the field, twenty nine sheep
down to the 12 chair cafe
14 to one slope ,this street
today its a 4 course buffet

Sing my song as I walk along
its now the number 1
I think it is 7.5 seconds too long
I liked their previous one

22.36 I'll cop hell from home
I should be back at eleven
better give them a bell
on my speed dial phone
its on the numeric pad at 7

Ill take the square root back
its 3 minutes faster
got 9 pencils left in my back pack
2 Screwfix fliers and a plaster

Its all academic to me
this talk of my savantic autistic label
For anyone with half a brain can see
Im outwardly periodic able

Not a freak , daft or mad
just a victim of social subtraction
I have nothing left to add
I'm just autistic......... ( by a fraction )

Mark Thomas was born in 1954 and have been writing poetry since the age of 12 years. Most of my poetry is drawn from direct experience with the subject I write about. I currently work as a co-ordinator in a Special Needs Community, The inspiration for "The Decimal Pint" comes from one of the residents I work with and brings some elements from Rain Man".