IT'S A LIE
It's a lie, I am not afraid to be seen.
Your gaze is not welcome in this, my own, kitchen.
They too loved the hottentot, everyone loves the circus.
Living and working with the 2 handed in and around your vicinity
Even with the ones with the best of intentions, the ones who will call themselves allies, the ones who will tell you that they have challenged themselves on ableism, the ones who will tell you that in alliance they have already contributed and created to anti-ableist work will gaze.
They will observe, they observe only harmlessly, to understand and answer for themselves with notions that they have challenged with their very own self counsel.
Good because, it is NOT my responsibility to educate you. I WILL NOT educate, enlighten you on how it is that you share in my own oppression. I just don't want to be oppressed. I just don't want to be your cadaver, your carcass, in observation.
They observe, consent is not required for their kind of observation, for this kind of examination. They observe, every minute detail, every minute movement
They are not the simple movements, of I,
Remember hottentot Venus,
You want to turn my kitchen, on my dining table where I eat, the house I sleep in, and my food, into your lab, one big fucking experiment.
Why?I am already comfortable in my discomfort.
Why? Should I be comfortable? I live in this world, designed for others, no pain, 2handed. I must make do. I do make do. Until I can design my own world for the stump nationals.
I'd better stay for observation, it is only for my own good. No, wait, it is for the good of us all so that we can all live peacefully, so I don't poison you while you sleep.
Are you afraid that hot blood flows through your cadaver, afraid that I will accuse you of sleeping through my own pain, my own discomfort, my own peace?
But here I am,
When all I feel is your discomfort on top of mine, Familiar gaze,
As you stare at me like they did the hottentot venus.