Linda Fuchs

(Losing Myself)

The deer is on the wrong side of the fence
I feel its confusion
Together we stop in the headlights
I feel its terror
The truck looks enormous as it approaches
We are frozen
Metal hits fur and tissue and bone
We cry out loud
Flying through the air the ground comes at us fast
“This isn’t supposed to happen”
The ground is hard and gravelly as we land
Every breath sears

Suddenly I realize I am driving down the road
I remember seeing the deer
I’m not really sure where I am or
how long I’ve been “gone”
I feel panic until I see a familiar sight

I get so entwined with all living creatures
I lose myself in their pain
Any mention of death or grief
I must run away. It hurts too much
My mind goes to where it feels safe
Leaving my body to fend for itself

Linda Fuchs was diagnosed bi-polar several years ago. She writes, “Sadly, I am unable to work any more. The silver lining of this is I have discovered my creative side in working and painting. These pursuits help soothe me and allow my feelings to be shown.” Her book The Midnight Ramblings of an Insane Woman was published in 2006.