You have to have 20/40 vision or better to get a driver’s license. Not 20/400. I have never had a license, probably never will. But that has not stopped me from fixating on the perfect design Herr Ferdinand Porsche brought forth in 1963;can’t stop me from seeing the 911 in my mind’s eye and the clear outlines of all that it makes possible. What I always loved and still find endearing about this sports car is that its original silhouette looks like a frog. A high performance, turbocharged frog that can leap out of the swamp into the sky to race with the sun.
I want to go racing, and have resolved to make the vision real. This retired professor on a pension and social security wants a Porsche 911 Carrera T. I am clear-eyed and ready to do what it takes. The Porsche will be parked beside the family sedan, a 13 year-old Honda Civic Hybrid with a few nicks and dents. It is time to consult www.Porsche.com and use the Car Configurator to get exactly what I want, my custom Carrera T.
Welcome to Porsche… Select a Region…Click North America
Select a Country…Click USA
There it is, my Carrera T. Click.
Says $102,000.00. Second mortgage. Maybe a reverse mortgage. What’s next?
Build your Porsche.
Yes indeed. I will soar, get my freedom. Click.
First things first. Color.
Standard Colors… White, Black, Guards Red, Racing Yellow. Not sure what Guards Red is. Metallic Colors… Carrera White Metallic, Jet Black Metallic, GT Silver
Metallic. Special Colors… Lava Orange, Miami Blue.
Miami Blue? What about Bullfrog Green? Where’s the green? I remember the green. OK, then. How about black, like the Carrera I used to see in the parking lot every time I went to my ophthalmologist, the sun dancing, skipping across the polished surface, energizing the car as it waited, pent up, for the owner, another doctor I was told. One day, the glossy thoroughbred was no longer there. “Wrecked on the freeway,” someone explained. I will not wreck my Black Beauty. Jet Black Metallic it is.
Click. Add $720.
This is important. I will be spending a lot of time inside my Configuration. Leather is lovely.
Click.YI - Leather interior in Black/Guards Red with Sport-Tex
Seat Centers, i.c.w. Carrera T interior package. Add $3,480.
Seats. Go for the best.
Click.P07 – Adaptive Sports Seats Plus (18-way) . Add $2,640.
CZW –Dashboard Trim Package in Leather.
Leather dashboard? What does this have to do with performance? Oh well, as long as it doesn’t slow me down.
Click.CXM –Door Panel Trim Package in Leather. Add $690.
CXN –Rear Seat Trim Package in Leather.
Won’t be needing a back seat. This is my race to win.
Click.XNG –Instrument Cluster Surround in Leather. Add $380.
Click.XNS –Steering Column Casing in Leather. Add $470.
Click.XZM –Center Console Tunnel Sides in Leather. Add $1,020.
Click.CHK –Climate Control panel in Leather. Add $870.
CZV –Air Vent Slats in Leather.
Air vent slats? In leather? How absurd.
Click.CUJ –Fuse Box Covers in Leather. Add $390.
Click.CFX –Floor Mats/Deviated Carpeting, Leather Edges,
Stitching. Add $650.
Now forexterior options.
602 - LED Headlights with Porsche Dynamic Light System Plus.
Like the eyes. Perfect vision for a perfect car.
748 - Power Folding Exterior Mirrors.
651 - Electric Slide/Tilt Sunroof.
Oh yes, let me feel the rush of air.
Click. Add $1,500.
XAT –Sport Design Package.
Not sure what this entails, but OK. I’m feeling sporty.
XYB –Fuel Cap with Aluminum Look Finish.
Gas cap? Do I need this? Black? Aluminum? I ask my husband. Aluminum is for racing, he says. Aluminum it is.
Click. Add $160.
As high as possible, baby. I need to accelerate in the straights, outpace the medical world’s impotence.
250 –7-Speed Porsche Doppelkupplung (PDK).
Transmission, my husband tells me. I’ll be shifting into top gear.
Click. Add $3,730.
658 –Power Steering Plus.
A must have. I need to take every curve thrown at me.
470 –Rear Axle Steering.
Not sure what that does, but…
450 –Porsche Ceramic Disc Brakes (PCCB).
Brakes. I won’t be needing brakes. Nothing is going to stop me now.
Audio and Communications.
Yes, please, let’s enrich my audio world.
QH1 –Voice Control.
Yes, even better than Siri or Alexa. And its free.
Click. Add $0.
9VL –BOSE Surround Sound System.
Is this it? Where’s the rear view mirror? My custom mirror? How can I see what I am leaving behind, the procedures and prescriptions that will be eating my dust? And a cup holder would be nice, too, don’t see that either. Who is "configurating" whom?
Total with options, delivery and processing: $133,270
Add California State and Local Taxes: $9,995
California vehicle registration fee: $233
Grand total: $143,498
I am nothing if not a bargain hunter. I will save the cost of insurance, license tag fees, tune ups, smog checks and premium gas as none will be needed. And one more thing: since I will be Queen of my Carrera T sitting in my garage, listening to my BOSE, fingering the steering wheel, maybe knitting a little and imagining a lot, my Configuration will not need the twin-turbocharged 3.0-liter flat-six (boxer) engine pumping out 370 horsepower and 331 lb-ft of torque. I can sell that on Ebay for at least $45,000.